If You Feel Trapped By Your Own Emotional Walls...
We all have them. I have them. You have them.
mental barriers you create to protect yourself.
Putting your guard up, shutting down, shutting others out, falling into old destructive patterns.
Someone comes into your life whom you're excited about, and your gut reaction is to push them away. You look for the logic in your behavior.
"What did they do wrong?"
"Why am I behaving this way?"
"Why am I reverting to the person I was when I was hurt, when now is the time to be happy?"
When we put these emotional walls up, we become someone we used to be. Someone we no longer are. It's a delayed reaction to a past painful memory. We couldn't protect ourselves from the person who hurt us then, so now we put walls up to protect our hearts from people who have done nothing to us.
Well maybe "nothing" is too generous. Maybe he got distant for a few days, questioning his own ability to connect again. Maybe she pulled back for a moment, unsure of her own ability to be able to trust again.
But he didn't tell you he loved you then disappear after getting your body in his bed. She didn't tell you she loved you then cheat on you with your best friend. He didn't do what your ex did. She didn't do what your ex did.
It was just a small human moment of fear, or lack of communication, or lack of vulnerability,
And suddenly the magic new person in front of you looks exactly like your ex. Or maybe a collage of a few of them.
But he is not.
She is not.
She is not the same as the girl who broke you. He is not the same as the man who broke you.
But we get confused.
We see something that reminds us, and then we put up these walls that we aren't sure how to take down.
If you feel trapped by your own walls, consider perhaps you were never intended to be the one to know how to tear them down.
What if the smooth cement you see inside, is only half cemented brick to the passerby.
But no one ever told you, and so rather than taking one brick down at a time, we pound our palms against them in helplessness.
But why would no one tell you?
Because they cannot see it either.
Our walls are the perfect backdrop for the projections of our mind. Our eyes quite literally project our own stories and experiences onto other peoples’ walls, warping our perception of reality.
Rather than seeing someone as the divine light they are, trapped in an easily removable casing of fear. We see our own fear surrounding us in those we meet. And we build our walls higher to protect ourselves.
Every person you meet is on purpose. Placed in your life with precision. Showing you exactly who you are. Not who they are. Not at first. For you cannot see who someone truly is, until you see past the image of yourself you project on the walls that surround them.
Whether you feel love or fear (for those are the root of all feelings), you will know your own love, and your own fear, long before you ever begin to feel theirs. Some people will not stay in your life long enough for you to ever feel theirs.
And that too is on purpose.
For we are here to learn and to grow from others. But some people will stay. Which is our true purpose. To learn and grow for others. They will see past the screen. They will see your heart and the walls that guard it, and they will tear them down one brick at a time.
He will tear them down.
She will tear them down.
And you will tear down theirs too.